For the longest time, as long as I can remember, I have felt misunderstood. I am very passionate about what I believe, what I have opinions about, and what I know in my heart to be true. This is a blessing and a curse. I feel alive, really alive, when I am discussing (debating) a topic. What usually ends up happening is I am misunderstood. Then I am attacked. I used to feel like a victim, if you will. I am not a victim, I am responsible to a degree.
Do people really think that I am ignorant simply because I do not follow the majority or mainstream train of thought? This is something that I struggle with. I know that I am smart, intelligent. I get tongue tied at times, and I may not understand all your ten dollar words, but I am a smart woman. I am strong, stronger than a lot of people that I know. The one thing that I am not is thick-skinned. I am easily hurt.
So when involved in a lively debate with a few people, I am told to "stop, just stop" I am hurt, really hurt. Not just because the person is family, and I really like them (Let's be honest, we don't like all of our family members. We love them, always love them, but not always like them.) Because I feel like my opinions are not even worth expressing. That what I think is so insignificant I should really just shut up. That I am so wrong, I am just making a fool of myself. Part of this I need to take responsibility for, perhaps I am not communicating well enough that they actually understand what I am saying. Or worse, I am so bad at communicating that they now actually think that I am a hateful person. That I think that discriminating against someone is okay. I do not think that. Do people, does my family actually think that I am that person? That I am even capable of that?
Maybe I should do more "charity work" and post on Facebook about it. Maybe I should bring to attention every time that I do something nice for someone, or encourage them, just so people see that I am a good person...but I can't do that. It takes away from what you have done when you specifically look for accolades. You do nice things simply because it is the right thing to do, and you enjoy doing them. The amazing feeling that you get from doing them is just an added bonus.
Yes, I think same sex marriage is wrong. Do I hate homosexual people? NO! Do I think that they should get special treatment simply because of who they choose to do life with? NO! Do I think that a privately owned business should have to preform a same sex union when it goes against their religious beliefs? NO! Should the whole situation be handled in a very respectful, loving manner? YES!
I have always been a passionate person. Always. This is nothing new, so when people seem surprised that I am so passionate, I am a little confused. Side note, it really upsets me when the people that I am "discussing" this with claim to believe in the same God as I. Apparently they get to pick and choose what they want to agree with, what is PC, what may even make sense in this day and age.
So, lessons learned from this vent...
1) Seek first to understand, then be understood.
2) The only person's opinion who matters is Jesus.
3) Love, love, love.
Until next time, hopefully sooner rather than later,
~ME
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